5/3/2011 - 5/9/2011 (Week 7)

5/3/2011 - 5/9/2011

Running

Miles: 59

Time: 7 hours 38 minutes

Going into this past week I started questioning whether or not I would be able to finish Silver State due to time off of my feet, lack of miles, and having to deal with a bunch of unnecessary activities that were taking up a lot of my time. My mindset and confidence in my abilities were at an all time low. I never thought I would say this, but it crossed my mind to just suck up the $55 bucks and take the DNS. It's sad that an idea like that would ever cross my mind, but truly I was not happy with the way the past three weeks went. My focus and drive deteriorated. I quickly fell off track. I began to brainstorm solutions and found myself questioning my integrity and character as an individual. These are some of the things that went through my mind that helped me get back on track:

1.) I'm not a quitter and will never back down from a challenge.

2.)I've come too far and worked too hard to let an opportunity (which I've already paid for) pass me by.

3.) I'm one of the most competitive people I know (I hate losing... even if it's something as simple as racing someone to see who can tie there shoes faster).

4.) Running is an individual sport. When you don't succeed or are not prepared it's on you and nobody else.

5.) I set a goal and I plan to accomplish it. The only person who could stop me from accomplishing my goal is the guy that I look at in the mirror every morning. To be quite "frank" I love the guy that I see in the mirror.

Instead of sitting and sulking on my woes, I sucked it up and began to run again. I found myself running with attitude while being poise about it. This is what I needed to get myself going again. My fear of failure is unlike anything in the world. Thinking about not finishing Silver State or not finishing in a decent time is what's driving me to push myself harder. The competition within myself is back on. The way I look at it goes like this: I'm not running Silver State or better yet my first ultra marathon to impress anybody. I'm doing this to get myself in shape and test my endurance (both mentally and physically). I want to learn about the sport of running. I want to understand what it means to hit "THE WALL". I want to experience the pleasures and pains running has to offer. I want to have fun. And lastly, I want to compete with not only others, but with myself.

Positives about last week:

*The insoles I put in my Montrails made a huge difference in comfort

*I ran into Connor Curley on Peavine

*Saw Big Aust and met a very humble man who I like following by the name of Jacob Rydman

*My relationship is solid and back on track

*I'm finally all moved out of my condo

*Finals and college are over

*Hanging out with the Curley's is ALWAYS a blast. These guys just bring positivity and smiles.

*Nuetillas and black beans are the tits

*Spending mass amounts of time with Joey Rommel is AWESOME

*Doubled Peavine and got solid vertical last week

*My tempo runs felt strong through the canyon